Psychiatry is a different world, a different universe. So when some medical guy in a white coat, lots of badges and a stethoscope in the pocket goes over there, it’s a big entertainment deal, like half of LA showing up when U2 plays “Street with no name” on the top of a building. They come from all over and hang from the rafters.

So, the most effective way to deal with Psychiatry is to walk in there with a totally authoritative air….fix them all with a withering sneer and…..of course……sing a bar of “Alice’s restaurant”.

(in A minor) “So I wanted to look like the all American kid from New York City.
I wanted to BE the all American kid from New York City,
So I walked in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all
kinds o’ nasty ugly things. And I walked in and sat down and they gave
me a piece of paper, said, “Kid, see the pyschiatrist, room 604.”

So I went up there, sat down and I said, “Shrink, I want to kill.
I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill. Kill.
I wanna, I wanna…….. I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth.
Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL.”
And I started jumpin up and down yelling, “KILL, KILL, KILL” and
he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down
yelling, “KILL, KILL KILL.” And the sargeant came over, pinned a medal on me,
sent me down the hall, said, “You’re our boy.”

Then of course, nail down the group experience:

…….the only reason I’m singin’ you this song now is cause
you may know somebody in a similar situation, or you may be in a
similar situation, and if your in a situation like that there’s only
one thing you can do and that’s walk into the shrink wherever
you are ,just walk in say “Shrink,
You can get anything you want, at Alice’s restaurant.”. And walk out.

You know, if one person, just one person does it they may think he’s really sick and
they won’t take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony,
they may think they’re both gay and they won’t take either of ’em.
And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in
singin a bar of Alice’s Restaurant and walking out. They may think it’s an
organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day, I said
fifty people a day walking in singin’ a bar of Alice’s Restaurant and
walking out. And friends they may thinks it’s a movement.
And that’s what it is , the Alice’s Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement,
and all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it come’s around on the
guitar. (With feeling).

So we’ll wait for it to come around on the guitar, here and
sing it when it does. Here it comes-

“You can get anything you want, at Alice’s Restaurant
You can get anything you want, at Alice’s Restaurant
(patient chimes in “excepting Alice”)
Walk right in it’s around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want, at Alice’s Restaurant